Fusion weddings – one of my favourite weddings to plan, and actually, highly popular now. So what is a fusion wedding? A fusion wedding is bringing two different people together who have two different backgrounds, cultures and/or religions. Planning a wedding with a fusion couple is amazing to see, bringing together two different families and two different sets of traditions, but can also be stressful for the couple, trying to keep everybody happy, whilst protecting their own culture and values.
Having a planner in this situation is always best. As an outsider, I can help to navigate these stresses and assist with ideas on compromises to make sure you have the day you have always dreamed of! You can book a consultation with me here to have an informal chat about how I can help!
I’m here today with 8 tips for you when planning a fusion wedding:
Decide what wedding traditions from each culture you wish to use
Sit down together as a couple, discuss and show each other the traditions which usually happen in a wedding of your culture. Perhaps you have already been to a wedding together for one of your family or friends, so your partner may have already seen some of the traditions you are used to. Talk about what ones are a MUST for you, and which you would like to have. Decide then together on how these can be incorporated into your day. For example, if you are Jewish, and marrying an Christian, this doesn’t mean you can’t still have a Tisch – your partner may even love these ideas! You will also find that the family and friends of your partner will enjoy new traditions as something different to the ‘norm’ they are so used to.
Fusion wedding legal service
Deciding on the wedding service can be difficult with two religions, but my advice is to always ask. What do I mean by this? Well, earlier this year, I planned a wedding for a couple who were Christian/Buddhist. The groom who was Christian wanted a traditional Church of England wedding, so they asked the vicar if they could also invite a group of Buddhists to come along, and at the end of a slightly shorter Christian service, to then have a shorter Buddhist service. The vicar obliged and it was one of the best services I have ever witnessed!
I have also had couples who have had two services, one for each religion. You can do this in various ways:
Have 1 ceremony a week prior, and 1 ceremony on the day – two outfits, two celebrations – a lot of couples love this idea!
Have both ceremonies the week or so prior – get the important legal and religious parts out of the way and enjoy a celebration on another date. You will just need to decide whether you have all guest at both, or a small party at just the ceremonies, and also what date you celebrate your anniversary on!
Have both ceremonies on the day – this is one of the most popular choices, but has to be planned in a lot of details due to the timings of both ceremonies and potential outfit changes etc. You can also speak your officiant for each service about having a shorter service time than usual – this is sometimes possible.
Some couples also decide to have neither of their traditional services and have a civil ceremony, officiated by a local registrar.
Fuse two different cultures together for your catering
This is a great place to bring both cultures into one. Have a mix of both traditional foods, or if you can’t make a decision and feel the two don’t combine well, pick something completely different. Another way you can tackle this situation in a fusion wedding is to have one of your traditional foods for the sit-down wedding breakfast, and one for the evening reception. You may find that both of your cultures have a similar food offering, so are easy to merge. Also think about other ways you can bring your cultures into the catering. I recently had a bride who was Thai and we had sushi and korokke as part of the canapes during the drinks reception.
Decide what drinks to allow at your celebrations
Maybe your culture doesn’t allow alcohol and your grandparents or parents frown upon it. If you, as the couple, both drink alcohol and expect majority of your friends and family will be drinking alcoholic beverages, then there are a couple of ways you can get around this. You can either have no alcohol during the daytime, making sure to address this in your invitations so guests are aware, then introducing alcohol into the evening, making sure your guests who frown upon this are aware, so they can decide whether they wish to remain.
If both of you decide to have no alcohol, as long as your guests as aware, there should be no problems. The difficult situation for a fusion wedding is if one of the couple doesn’t drink and one does. This is where a discussion would need to happen and a compromise made, similar to the suggestion of having half the day without alcohol, and half with.
Prepare each other for your cultures wedding traditions
Make sure to have conversations together on what to expect, how certain guests may react, what certain guests may expect. You most likely would have already attended each other’s family celebrations so are aware of how their culture and traditions work, maybe even attended your partner’s family’s weddings, so know what to expect, but if not, make sure to have the conversation so you are prepared for you fusion wedding.
Decide on the length of the wedding celebrations
Different cultures have different ways to celebrate, some have elongated celebrations, for example, Indian weddings tend to be up to three days long. Decide what length of celebration you wish to have. You could also potentially split the cultures and have the 1st day as one culture with your traditional ceremony and the 2nd day as the 2nd culture. This also depends on the budget you have available, as the longer your fusion wedding goes on, the more costly it can be. Majority of weddings in the UK now last 1 day, with the potential for a night prior or day after celebration which is much more informal.
Communicate with your family about your wedding plans
Families can be very important, not only in different cultures but also to different people. Every person is bought up differently and have different relationships with their families, so it can be difficult when planning a wedding, especially a fusion wedding where families have two different expectations. The important thing is to speak with your families, be honest about your intentions, and explain how the day will work. It does also work well to speak to both families together so everyone feels included, even if you or your partner aren’t as close to their parents as the other.
Set expectations with your guests attending your fusion wedding
Whether you decide on having a wedding website, or are sending out invitations, talk about your two cultures and how these will be incorporated into the day. Set the guests expectations, but also don’t let on too much, as it can be a great surprise for many guests to have something different. Remember that this is a celebration, a fun time, and actually, your family and friends are probably used to going to many weddings and are excited for yours as there is that anticipation of what is going to happen and how is it going to be different. Guests always get into the rhythm once they are there, for example, I have worked with many Jewish/non-Jewish couples. Once the Israeli dancing starts, you can tell who the non-Jewish guests are, as they seem a little bewildered, but trust me, they soon get involved and get dancing! In this situation, you could add a note of, bring your dancing shoes, or listen to X track on Spotify before the day, or have a look at this dance on YouTube, just to give them the idea of what to expect at your fusion wedding!
Regardless of your cultures, traditions, families, it is important to remember that this is an exciting day, one to celebrate your love for each other, and this is the main thing. If you are struggling to come to agreements with your family or how to incorporate both cultures, get in touch with me here. It can really benefit you and your fusion wedding to have an unbiased, outsiders’ opinion.
Looking for a planner for your fusion wedding? Find out more about my full wedding planning service here and my partial wedding planning service here.