Wedding regrets…..for the best day of your life?! Yup, it happens! I’ve got a list of regrets listed below, taken directly from couples who are now married, whether they are couples we have worked with on their wedding planning, or from me asking the questions on Instagram (yes, I’ve done my research!) to make sure you can be prepared to avoid key aspects which you can regret after your wedding day, because nobody wants wedding regrets or post wedding anxiety right?!
Trying to decide on your wedding day jewellery? Take a look at: How To Ensure Your Jewellery Matches Your Look
Not sure exactly what you need for your tables? I am here to help with: What Do You Need For Your Wedding Tables?
Not having a wedding videographer
Probably the top answer to come out of me asking couples what they would have done differently. Videos are such an amazing way to keep memories for life. Spending time with family, re-watching your videos over and over again are priceless, you will have these videos forever, to see loved ones when they pass, to re-watch your vows during every anniversary and to show your children if you decide to start a family once you’re married. A videographer is a must and a big wedding regret if you don’t invest! Make sure a videographer is in the budget from the wedding planning offset. You can often find photographers who offer a package with both photography and videography, which can often work out a lower cost than hiring the two services separately.
Wedding planning stress regrets
Whether it’s stress during the wedding planning phase, or on the actual wedding day, stress and anxiety crops up often when talking through wedding regrets. Stress on the wedding day can be common, and a lot of the time it is the adrenaline from the day, mixed with emotions and also overwhelm. Not everybody enjoys having all eyes on them. Majority of the time, once the ceremony is over, you can breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy the day, but occasionally, the stress stays throughout, with worry about timings, whether everything is running smoothly, if suppliers are ok etc. My advice is to put your full trust in your suppliers. We do this for a living, have done for many, MANY weddings and know what we are doing. Trust the process. Enjoy yourselves. ALWAYS make sure you have someone with experience onsite to manage the wedding day. Still looking for a wedding coordinator? Get in touch here.
Not spending enough time together
Something that also comes up regularly, at the end of the day, the wedding is about the two of you and the love between you. Of course, you will be enjoying your day with your friends and family, which is great, but also make sure to take time out, just the two of you, to sit back, enjoy some alone time and watch your guests enjoying themselves. This works well when incorporated into the evening couple shots. You don’t want to reflect on the day, and think, wow, I barely saw my other half unless I had to! Enjoy the full day together.
Spending too much time on photos
Some of the lists of group shots I see….crazy! I would stick to an absolute maximum of 10 group shots, as they really can drag on, and when planning you photos, you may think you really want all of these photos, but in reality on the day, you will get sick of it and just want to enjoy yourselves. Don’t forget, your photographer will take natural group shots. Cut the pointless shots, like the ‘full group shot’. It’s not a photo you will ever use, and the distance it needs to be taken out, you can barely even see people’s faces. Make sure to have your planner/wedding manager one of the Bride’s/Groom’s party to help find the guests needed for each photo to save some time, as you don’t want to regret spending pointless time hanging around taking wedding group shots.
Not getting everyone to sign the guest book
Whether you decide on a guest book, video, voice messaging, a picture, a polaroid station and book, a tree….wow there are plenty of options, make sure it gets used. Ask the DJ to announce it to your guests and task one of your party or your planner to pass it around to guests. It would be a shame to not get a message from all of your guests if this is something you have your heart set on, and many couples have wedding regrets on not having this.
Bridal/Grooms party
So many newly engaged people are so excited to be a fiancé, that they quickly jump into bridesmaids, best men, groomsmen etc. It is easily done, especially when people can come over strongly and actually ask you outright if they are going to be one of those important roles, without even thinking, especially when alcohol is involved, and the next think you find yourself is saying yes! One of the biggest problems I see are fall outs, arguments, and stress caused by Bride’s/Groom’s parties. Make sure you choose wisely, people who you know love you and will support you, and don’t think of the role as just putting on a nice outfit. If you regret your choice, then be honest before the wedding day, so you have no wedding regrets on your bridal party choices!
Suppliers involved in the wedding day regrets
Make sure that during your planning process, you aren’t rushing into booking suppliers too quickly. Ensure you are reading testimonials, having conversations with a few different people and checking through contracts before confirming anything. DO NOT focus on price! Quality costs. Many couples regret after their wedding choosing certain suppliers who many not then give what they promised, caused stress for the couple with lack of communication during the process or not being aligned with their wedding style and vibe. For example, a rustic décor provider wouldn’t work if you want a chic, modern hotel vibe.
Look for red flags such as delayed responses in the enquiry process, bad recommendations or unprofessionalism such as calling you ‘hun’ during emails and putting kisses at the end of messages. Use a planner for supplier recommendations if you are really struggling to find the right people. There are so many suppliers out there who are amazing, but also many who are not what they say they are, and don’t have the skills and knowledge required, for example, a florist generally would have had professional training and aren’t just doing it because their friend said their flowers are nice.
Focusing on cost over quality
As mentioned above, quality is much more important that the cost. Of course, everyone has a budget, but focus your costs on what is important. Don’t have EVERYTHING but then do each thing half-heartedly at a minimal cost. So many couple have wedding regret over things which they ‘cheaped out’ on.
Buying things not needed
Cut the rubbish which isn’t needed, as I said above, focus on the important things you need first, ie. food, venue, music. Things such as flip flops on the dancefloor, favours on the tables, a long line of Bridesmaids, just aren’t necessary. You can seriously cut costs by cutting these unnecessary items. For example, if your favours aren’t edible, they WON’T get used, and you will end up with a box of them to take home with you.
Not having more help
Whether it’s assistance setting up, someone to set down the next day, or during the planning process, help will be needed! Make sure to choose people involved in your day who you know will help you and won’t be a hinderance. Many couple regret after their wedding or just before the day, not hiring help. Hiring a wedding planner may seem like a luxury, but when you have a career, a family, fitting wedding planning in can be so stressful. You will also find yourselves saving money due to the knowledge of the planner. For example, I include my costs into your wedding budget and will make sure you don’t go over! Most couples will go over budget if they added up everything they spent.
Listening too much to other people
Another massively popular wedding regret, and one I see regularly. It can be difficult to avoid opinions around you, especially ones coming from family and parents who may be inputting financially. Remember that this is a day about the two of you, and you are celebrating your love together. Financial gifts are great of course, and I am sure you will appreciate them, but they shouldn’t come with an obligation for the person to make decisions on your day. If there is something you really don’t want, make sure to have a calm conversation and explain your reasons. It can help to give people who want involvement, a task to help you with instead of decisions to make, as you will of course need help along the way.
Not bringing their own personalities to their wedding day and regret it on the day
Something I have seen in the past, and actually makes me feel sad, is a wedding completely planned around what other people want (as discussed above) that the couple almost look awkward at. If for example, public speaking isn’t your thing, and you don’t really like dresses, there are other options! Bring your personalities into the day, with your music, your venue, even your table names! If you are outdoorsy people, then have an outdoor wedding. If you have never lived in your hometown where your family are based, don’t feel pressured to have your wedding there and it being one of your regrets afterwards.
Drinking too much alcohol
A big one which crops up – getting too drunk and not remembering parts of the day is a BIG wedding regret! Keep your cool, remember it’s a marathon not a sprint, enjoy yourselves but just be careful on your alcohol consumption, especially if you haven’t eaten much and people keep buying you drinks! Many couples also decide to wait until after the wedding breakfast/evening couple shots to start drinking, or may just have a couple before then, so you don’t get too carried away too early!
Saying yes to the venue too soon
You’re excited, of course, you are about to get married! But before you sign on the dotted line for your venue, make sure you have your budget worked out. So many couples start venue searching before putting the budget together, and end up falling in love with a venue which ends up taking a large proportion of the expenditure. Another wedding regret which crops up is booking a dry hire venue which has an external caterer, thinking you can afford the venue no problem, without getting a quote from the catering company they use.
Still having anxieties about regrets after your wedding day? Maybe you are struggling with a difficult situation? Get in touch here and let’s chat!